Friday, August 7, 2009

August 7th Topics


Fine Frog
"Just kiss me," he said, and she ...

OR
Who is your prince and how do you know he's not a frog?

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1 comment:

ItsNaughtKnotty Cannned said...

Fine Frog
"Just kiss me," he said, and she did it.

She didn't really think it through. She just did as she was told. Something about the way her generation handles unique ideas or quirky situations leads them to do things others wouldn't consider. Kissing a talking frog might have given her mother the heebie-jeebies, but to her it just seemed like something fun to do.

Puff of smoke.

The frog turned into a prince and while seriously anachronistic, it still charmed the pants off of her.

Literally.

Pregnant with her frog-prince's child, the original witch who hexed her lover arrived to revisit the crimes leading to his froghood in the first place and ascertain if her frog baby should arrive in the world with some biological defect to continue the tainted lineage of the prince.

"Yeah, ya know, when I made him a frog, I never expected anybody to be dumb enough to kiss him, but gadzooks, a witch shouldn't ever underestimate how much dumber each generation of children will be compared to their parents and grandparents," the witch said. "So I think your baby will just arrive in the world a frog. It'll save us all time."

Satisfied the curse would be intact, the witch headed to Washington to see what she could do about banning stupid kids.

The frog baby was green and slimy, but her mother loved the child anyway. All those years of racial tolerance education paid off.

The father of the frog baby spent most of his time wandering around the apartment muttering decrees and demanding allegiance. Life in a modern suburb with all its amenities and its self-directed citizenry didn't suit a monarch.

And so he took on a new lover and left his child and its mother behind.

The story diverges into three branches. A witch in Washington working on educational reform. A prince living a self-abusive existence. A mother and child struggling to make ends meet. It's not a happy ending for any of them. Why do they always show up in fairy tales? Had the young lady kissed the frog in other stories, the prince might have gathered an army, reclaimed his father's lands, and moved into his childhood castle with the girl who kissed him and then there would be baby-making and living without a curse. We might find the witch with all her angst and misdeeds being torn limb from limb by wolves sent racing down from a bureaucratic junta of warlocks and other astral beings. We might even find the princess being a bit bored at her new situation and being rather precocious as a new mommy.

Instead, we have negative, negative and negative. All because girls these days will kiss anything, witches can't just let it go, and princes are a bunch of slimeballs.