Thursday, November 27, 2008

November 27th Topics


Easter Island
The rock face decided staring at the skies bored him, and so he detached himself from his base and ...
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UNRIVALED
The most unrivaled thing I wrote today is:
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Escape
What's the least amount of work you could do to make the biggest change of your life?
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1 comment:

ItsNaughtKnotty Cannned said...

The rock face decided staring at the skies bored him, and so he detached himself from his base and cruised into town, caught a ferry to Second Life, and opened up a shoe store.

Like everyone in Second Life who owns a shoe store, he fell in love. Easter's object of affection was an avatar shaped like a mayonnaise jar with wings. Something about her, or him, or it, seemed utterly fascinating. Mayonnaise didn't like Easter Island Face guy's shoe store. The shoes weren't very pretty. They didn't seem practical. Even by the “everything that's really weird is kinda sorta cool in Second Life” standard, Easter’s shoe store was a failure.

"Your shoes just don't make sense," Mayo told Easter.

Mayo was right.

Life as a big block of rock didn't train Easter to be a good salesman, a good cobbler, or a good designer of virtual reality. He was very good at standing and waiting for eons.

"How about I start a store where you stand and wait for the bus, or a subway, or your wife to come home from her job."

"Brilliant! Can I help?"

The two eagerly began work. They photoshopped. They primmed up their property. They scripted in the arcane language of LSL. Within hours they could see their hard work coming to fruition. Within days their new store contained all the beauty and elegance a shapely rock and a bucket of fat could contrive.

Their open house was a huge success. People joined their group for the fascinating freebies they gave out and for the on-going updates of new and interesting ways to wait for things. People loved the standing around and the looking up at the sky. They liked the umbrellas, the tapping-foot animations, and the wrist watches designed to be monitored repeatedly. Mayo contributed a unique set of digital delicacies from ham sandwiches with mayo, to garlic dips made with mayonnaise, and yummy salads with an assortment of mayonnaise-based dressings. Dozens flocked to nightly dances where singers wrote original ballads on audio software rejoicing in the process of waiting.

Never had standing around and maintaining vigilance been treated with such loving reverence.

Samuel Becket even came to the store using a solid black cube avatar and gave a workshop on his play, Waiting for Godot.

When word leaked into mainstream media about the important work Easter and Mayo were doing to promote and accessorize standing around and doing nothing, people across the globe began staring up at the sky with more earnestness. Many workaholics began to stand around a bit more often. Looks of complacency became a rage among teenagers. The all-day all-night news channels hosted heated debates about standing versus sitting when one waits and argued over the correct way to stare blankly into the sky.

One newspaper read: "In an astonishing move never anticipated in fact or fiction, a former Easter Island resident has opened the popular "Stand and Stare" specialty shop within the 3D virtual world of Second Life. Game players have found a new thrill in just doing a whole lot of nothing."

Easter couldn't have been more gratified at bringing new life to a time honored tradition.

At some point in the mania, Mayonnaise disappeared without a word.

The store continued to do well, the interest in his work grew, people from all walks of life stopped by to pay homage to the block of rock that took staring and waiting into the electronic age. But Easter suffered. He felt betrayed, angry, lonely, and worried. He missed his Mayonnaise and wondered what could have happened. He waited for his beloved Mayo to return, and yet days, then weeks, then months slipped away.

Finally he knew what he needed to do. In the past, he'd waited many millennia. Prior to joining Second Life he was a veritable expert on staring into the heavens. He knew he could and would do it all over again for his Mayonnaise.

So he settled in, stood, and watched.

He waited for his Mayonnaise.