Tuesday, September 2, 2008

September 2nd Topics


A Better Office
If you could redesign your workplace in any way, what changes would you make?


Humpty
He was sitting on the wall, and oh my did he take a great fall, and then ...
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2 comments:

SweepAnd Mopp said...

Alcohol You're My Best Friend
[G7] I get up and go to work I really do not [C7] like it.
[G7] The boys talk golf the girls talk kids I'm surely gonna [C7] lose it,
[G7] but I have found a friend indeed who helps me get right [C7] through it.

[D7] Alcohol you're my best friend;
[C7] you help me make it through the day.
[G7] Let me kiss you on the lips.

[+E] [+D] [+C]

[G7] Got my little brown bottle filed under [C7] B.
[G7] Look behind my printer there's a fifth that's just for [C7] me.
[G7] Expense account for margaritas every noon to [C7] three.

[D7] Alcohol you're my best friend;
[C7] you help me make it through the day.
[G7] Let me kiss you on the lips.

[+E] [+D] [+C]

[G7] Decorate my office like an old time sa- [C7] loon.
[G7] In the staff meeting I'm flying over the [C7] moon.
[G7] Somebody said I should get some help [C7] soon.

[D7] Alcohol you're my best friend;
[C7] you help me make it through the day.
[G7] Let me kiss you on the lips.

[+E] [+D] [+C]

Gotta headache don't feel good I think I'm sorta woozy.
Still I need to make some time for the office floozy.
Martini bar the back of my car oh she is a doozy.

[D7] Alcohol you're my best friend;
[C7] you help me make it through the day.
[G7] Let me kiss you on the lips.

[+E] [+D] [+C]

September 3, 2008 at 8:42 AM
ItsNaughtKnotty Cannned said...

Humpty
He was sitting on the wall, and oh my, did he take a great fall, but then he realized he lived in Second Life and he reached for the PageUp button and like an eagle soaring over a valley above the pine trees and waterfalls, he took flight. He soared from simulator to simulator appreciating the beauty created by visionary residents and being disgusted by the haphazard mess left by less creative inhabitants. He watched the gray blocks magically turn into trees, castles, space stations, and shopping malls.

Attracted by a skybox of epic size, Humpty stopped and gently touched down like a ballerina to see what visual novelty this parcel held in store for him.

"Welcome to the Really Big Castle in the Sky," read a sign written in mottled yellow script on a red background and just below the flowery italics in a more utilitarian font it said, "Home of All the King's Men."

"I'll go meet them," Humpty said to himself and he marched through the oppressive wooden gate with a single mouse click.

The king's men sat around an unrealistically big round table. They all smoked cigarettes, drank purple martinis, and exhibited awkward looking animations.

"Humpty?!" One of the men seemed astonished to see the large flying egg appear in the doorway.

"What are you doing here?"

"You're supposed to fall!"

"Wait a minute, eggs can't fly."

"Is anybody from Connecticut?"

"Is anybody here female?"

The commotion continued its crescendo until all of the king's horses arrived to report the news. Humpty Dumpty didn't actually fall, and neither the horses nor the men would be necessary to fail in the attempt to put him back together again. The grumbling and shouts echoed through the chamber as the reason for existing as a king's horse or a king's man ended without a committee meeting or a proclamation from anybody up the food chain.

"You mean to say he's never going to fall and we're never going to need to put him back together?"

"Never."

"Never ever?"

"Never ever ever."

A sad silence eased into the room until at long last somebody whispered, "I'm going to Gorean role play."

"Isn't anybody excited for me?" Humpty asked. "I fell, but I'm alive, in one piece and I can fly like the birds. I've seen more of this country in one minute than I'd seen in an entire lifetime of sitting on that wall. Can't you be happy for me?"

"It's not about you Egg Man," a horse said as it went through the appearance change and magically erupted into a languid looking human female saddled with every imaginable form of artillery. "It's about the story and staying in character and following the rules of role play. You don't crack; we don't have anything to do. It's over."

"So you want me to fall?"

"You can't unscramble the plot now," said another avatar in the process of becoming an Asian anime character. "Sayonara."

September 14, 2008 at 1:04 PM

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