Prepared
How prepared are you for what is about to happen next?
Rehearsal
He imagined how the night would go and he could even picture her sitting there next to him on the couch, and then the doorbell rang, and he ...
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Rehearsal
He imagined how the night would go and he could even picture her sitting there next to him on the couch, and then the doorbell rang. His body rush to the door in anticipation. “Maybe tonight the night!” he though as he ripped the door open, “Tonight the night I finally get laid…”
“…Have you found god?...”
And he slammed the door. “Damn Jehovah’s Witnesses, I am perfectly happy believing in the Flying Spaghetti Monster, thanking you very much.” As Joe drag his body back to the couch he contemplated his situation. He was your everyday average Joe, hell was named Joe. He live a very average childhood, went to an average school, got an average degree, and now had a very average job pushing ones and zeros. In fact the only thing not average about was that Joe was a 35 year old virgin. That almost scandalous considering the fact he was born during the hippy generation, with his parents firm believers of free love and peace, especially free love, telling him and showing him about it every chance they got. Maybe that’s why Joe was still a virgin, hay if the images of your parents making a beast with two backs was burn into your eyes front of you, you would be scared of sex too.
“Ding-dong” again Joe got up again, “Tonight the night I’m goanna get laid…” again he went up to the door and as he was about to reach the doorknob the door slam into his face.
“Hay man, it’s me. You were a little slow getting to the door so I let myself in. Joe why are you on the floor? What wrong with your nose man, you should really get it looked at man their blood spouting out everywhere.” It was Ben, Joe’s child hood friend. He was a little absent minded at time, but when the shit hits the fan there no one better to watch your back. Joe never known why he ever gave the key to his apartment to Ben but regardless Ben was here now and he needed to leave.
“Ben, what do you need? I got a blind date coming here any minute now so I really can’t have you here, can’t you hold off anything you need for later?”
“Oh ya, sure man I understand. Your goanna finally get some tonight aren’t ya? Ya, I was just going to raid you fridge for some beer since I was in the area. Here I’ll leave right now, why don’t you hurry up and get that nose of your clean up O.K.”
“Thanks for understanding man. I’ll see you later.” As Joe was walking to the bathroom to clean the blood of his face the doorbell rang again.
“Don’t worry about it man I’ll get.” yelled Ben, “If it you date I‘ll tell her to wait in the living room.”
“Thanks” Joe walk out of the bathroom five minutes later to see Joe and his blind date hitting it off. “I guess I’m not getting laid tonight…”
Prepared by Wolfgang Glinka
Lovingly he swept the last crumbs from the table.
He was now ready for his meal.
A knife, fork and an old raffia table mat that had belonged to his parents - they were placed at the end of the table where he always sat.
He could have sat anywhere...let's face it, there was no one else around. Hadn't been for a long time now.
That is the thing about getting old. Your friends, lovers and enemies all seem to shuffle off before you.
Oh yes, a second knife for the cheese.....Gruyere, his favourite.
He put a vase in the middle of the table....he had arranged a posy of tulips. Red ones, his dead wife's favourites.
The soup was nearly ready...don't let it boil or you'll ruin the flavour. That was what she always said and he believed her even though he didn't really taste the difference.
He cut the bread and buttered it...four perfect corners placed on the last plate from their wedding present crockery from so many years ago.
He poured the soup and sprinkled watercress on top...just like she used to do.
A glass of wine...red seemed appropriate....and then he was ready.
Sitting down at the head of his own table, dressed in his Sunday suit, he put his hands together in prayer.
Thank you Almighty God for all the blessings of this life and what I am about to eat, let me enjoy.
He did.
He savoured the soup....lingered over the cheese and biscuits and before finishing the wine and took one last sniff of its heady perfume.
All over now...his last supper. He was ready.
He sat there long into the night and when the tablets took their effect he slumped gently and privately to the floor.
Wolfgang Glinka
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